Dear Ann Landers, I am a male escort working on my master's degree at a university in Washington, D.C. I take out women (usually my mother's age) and am well paid. There is no sex involved. These women simply need a decent-looking, well-dressed guy to take them to various social events at which they would feel ill at ease if not accompanied.
Very few friends know about my "moonlighting," which is the way I want it. I have met some interesting, intelligent women in my work, most of them widowed or divorced. Three of these women would like to marry me.
Marriage is out of the question. I am gay. Should I tell them? It would be easier than trying to make up reasons for my lack of interest. Yes or no, Ann? -- Mr. X in D.C.
Dear Mr. X, No. A negative response to the marriage proposals is adequate. There is no need to go into detail about your personal life. Meanwhile, don't be ashamed of your part-time job. The older women are no doubt grateful for the company. And escorting them to social events is a lot easier than cleaning office buildings at night.
Dear Ann Landers, I plan to be married in a few months and need some advice. My fiance and I have been together for almost seven years and have all the appliances and accessories we need to furnish our new apartment. We could use some furniture, however, and are now in the process of looking at chairs, tables and so on.
Several friends and relatives have let us know they want to give us a shower or a party. We really don't need presents. We would be thrilled if they would give us money so we could buy furniture. Is there a polite way we could ask for money instead of a shower or wedding gift without looking tacky? - Broke in Mississippi
Dear Broke, If you have a close relationship with aunts, uncles or cousins and they ask, "What do you NEED?" it would be OK to say, "We have everything we need except furniture and are now looking at several pieces. If you'd like to give us a check to help furnish our apartment, that would be wonderful."
I know of no polite way to ask friends or relatives who want to give you a shower or wedding gift to give you money instead.
Dear Ann Landers, Last August, I received a telephone call from a woman who said I had won a foreign lottery. She asked if I remembered entering, and I said, "No. I have bought so many lottery tickets that I can't recall all the different ones."
She then informed me there had been a drawing and my name had shown up in the list of 200 semi-finalists. A second drawing put my name as one of five finalists. She said the directors of the lottery decided that $450 million was too much to give to just one person, so it was going to be divided among all five of the finalists. Applying simple arithmetic, it comes out to $90 million for each of us. All that was required was for me to send $10, which I promptly did.
It has been three months, and so far, I have received absolutely nothing. I phoned the local Better Business Bureau and was told, "You will never get any money from them. Why should they pay you? They already have YOUR money."
Any comments? -- Rockford, Ill.
Dear Ann Landers, At this time of year, many taxpayers may be worried about the Internal Revenue Service. Please tell them there is professional help available. Enrolled agents (EAs) are tax professionals licensed by the Treasury Department to represent taxpayers before the IRS.
In 1884, President Chester Arthur created enrolled agents to help sort out claims to the Treasury arising from the Civil War. Today, EAs prepare tax returns, provide assistance to taxpayers who need help in complying with our national, state and local tax laws, and, most importantly, help taxpayers in disputes with the IRS.
The 10,000 members of the National Association of Enrolled Agents (NAEA) work with millions of individual and small-business taxpayers each year. Enrolled agents also help people who have not filed returns in many years. We understand that many taxpayers have had serious personal problems that caused them to miss filing a return, which then snowballed into several missed years. Our concern is to help the taxpayer get through the fear of the government and become compliant once again.
If readers need assistance, NAEA has a referral line to help taxpayers find an enrolled agent located near them. The toll-free number is 855-880-NAEA. -- Carol W. Thompson, chair, NAEA Public Information Committee, Monterey, Calif.
Dear Carol Thompson, Your letter certainly has put a kind face and extended a friendly hand to those who are delinquent in their taxes and afraid to come out from behind the bushes. You've reduced the fear in a great many people who will now file because you wrote. Everybody wins. Thank you.
Gem of the Day (credit Jane Fonda): When a man like Robert Redford ages, they say, "Those lines make him look very distinguished." When they look at me, they say, "She looks a lot older than when I saw her in her last movie."
Dear Ann Landers, If it's a slow news day and this letter appears in the paper, I would appreciate it if you would leave my name and town out of it, OK? Maybe a representative of the American Dental Association will attempt to explain how my dentist can get away with overbilling me, if asked by a voice as strong as yours. Here is my problem:
I am retired and on a fixed income. My dentist is one of the most respected men in the city. I pay my bills promptly and have never questioned his fees. I now have only six of my original teeth left. I find it outrageous that he charged me $44 to clean them, the same as if I had 32 teeth, and he didn't even do the work. His hygienist did it. She spent approximately five or six minutes on my own teeth and about 10 seconds on the bridge. Will you please tell me whether you think this is fair? -- Somewhere in Minnesota
Dear Minnesota, According to the American Dental Association, it is up to the dentist to set the fee for a prophylaxis (teeth cleaning). Some dentists charge a set amount for the entire procedure, regardless of the number of teeth. Others charge less, depending on the condition of the remaining teeth. I suggest you show this column to your dentist and see if you can reach a compromise.
