Dear Ann Landers,
I am writing on behalf of four families in our neighborhood. One of our neighbors has three unruly, screaming, screeching, constantly yelling children between the ages of 3 and 8. We can tell from the noise when they wake up in the morning, when they leave for school, when they come home and, thankfully, when they go to sleep. We have nothing against young children, Ann. Most of the kids in this area produce a normal amount of noise, and it doesn't bother us. We especially dread "pool time," which can last from one hour (bearable) to six hours (intolerable). Ann, these kids don't play. They yell and screech. During these "screamfests," it's impossible to read, watch TV, relax or converse. A nap is out of the question. When they bring friends over, it's so bad we have to leave our homes and go elsewhere. We have approached this neighbor and explained that the screaming is too much, but the man was not receptive to our plight and became extremely unpleasant. Our neighborhood used to be a paradise until this family moved in. We all try to be considerate of one another, all except for this neighbor. We have lived here for more than 20 years and don't want to move. What can we do? -- Frazzled in Florida

Dear Frazzled,
Make friends with the kids. Serve them treats occasionally, and ASK them to PLEASE not scream when they are playing because it gives you a headache. It won't eliminate the screaming, but it could cut down on the noise. Stereo headphones might be the answer. Listening to calming music at times such as these could be a blessing. Try it.

Dear Ann Landers,
I am engaged to a wonderful man I have known for four years. "Dudley" and I plan to be married next summer. He is a kind soul and a perfect gentleman. Everything was great until a few weeks ago, when Dudley started to hit me while he was asleep. The first time, he punched my rear end with his fist and then stopped suddenly. Last night, he hit me in the stomach twice. Both times, I woke him up and expressed astonishment. He was completely unaware of what he had done. When I asked him why he was hitting me, he said he had no recollection of doing it and wondered if maybe I dreamt it. Well, Ann, I was definitely not dreaming. Dudley did indeed hit me. I asked if he perhaps dreamed he was in a fight, and he said it was possible, but he never remembers his dreams. I find this hard to believe because I remember mine. I am truly concerned that Dudley has a subconscious wish to hurt me. Please tell me how to handle this. -- Bruised in Dallas

Dear Bruised,
It sounds as if Dudley is a mighty restless sleeper. I doubt that he wants to hurt you. He could be dreaming about a schoolyard bully or a boss he hated years ago. You would, however, be safer in twin beds. The important thing is that he doesn't hit you while he is awake.

Dear Ann Landers,
I have been going with a man for three years. "Jerome" has a 5-year-old daughter, and I don't know how much longer I can tolerate that child. She tells her father where to sit, where to stand, when to go out and what to eat. She walks around his apartment and insists on holding his hand, no matter what he's doing. She even goes to the bathroom with him. (He says she cries if he locks her out.) If she awakens in the middle of the night, he allows her to sleep with him. Jerome is divorced, and his daughter spends two nights a week at his place. I realize she misses her father, but this seems to me a very unhealthy attachment. When she is with him, she won't play with her toys or watch TV. She only wants to sit on his lap. This child has so many hang-ups it saddens me. Jerome says I am jealous of her, but I don't believe this is true. What do you say, Ann? -- Ready To Give Up in Richmond, Va.

Dear Richmond,
Dump Jerome, unless you are willing to play second fiddle to that pathetic spoiled brat for the rest of your life. Unfortunately, her brattiness is not her fault. Her father (probably guilty about the divorce) has catered to the child to the extent that he is totally under her thumb. Adios, Jerome, and the sooner the better.

Dear Ann Landers,
My husband, "Jim," and I have been married for two years. We dated for almost nine years before we married. Jim has always been moody and suffers from depression. I have suggested counseling and anti-depressant medication, but he refuses to get any help at all. Last summer, Jim and I got into a typical married-couple argument. It was no big deal, but he completely lost his temper. He threw our coffee table across the room and punched a hole in the wall over my head. He never apologized, and I let the incident blow over. Last Sunday, we had another minor disagreement. I left the room, and when I returned, Jim had thrown the Sunday paper in the trashcan, even though he knew I hadn't read it. I yelled at him, so he went into the kitchen and dumped the entire can of garbage into the middle of the living room. Later that evening, I told him I was not going to tolerate living in a house where things are thrown. He replied, "There are three doors in this place. Pick any one if you feel like leaving." I love Jim, but I fear his volatile behavior. I avoid arguments and don't complain about things because I hate confrontations with him. I am at the end of my rope. What should I do? -- Trying To Save My Marriage in Chicago

Dear Chicago,
Tell Jim, "Either get into counseling for anger management, or GET OUT." That man is making your life a living hell, and you should not have to put up with it. For his good, as well as for those who must be around him, Jim needs to face up to his problem and deal with it. You also need to protect yourself.

Dear Ann Landers,
I am a 20-year-old college student living with three other roommates the same age. One of our roommates, "Gloria," is causing a lot of problems for the rest of us. She is dating a married man. This isn't the first time she has been involved in an inappropriate relationship, but I didn't know about her entanglements until after we moved in together. The man Gloria is dating now is a lot older and has kids in their late 20s. He doesn't hide his cheating. In fact, he wants us to invite him over to "hang out." Gloria bragged about their sexual relationship, and his wife found out about it. She has been calling our house to see if her husband is here. Now, Gloria demands that we not answer the phone or, if we do, that we lie to the man's wife. We have lost all respect for Gloria and would like to kick her out, but none of us has the guts. I feel horrible for this man's family and do not want to be caught in a confrontation with his wife. Please give us some suggestions on how to handle this situation. -- Beside Ourselves in Oregon

Dear Oregon,
Give Gloria notice: Either she stops seeing that married man, or she will have to move out at the end of the month. Be firm about it. Let her know that if she doesn't break off the relationship, you are packing her bags and she'll find them on the front porch -- and keep your word.