Dear Ann Landers, I am sure you get many letters complaining about rude, crude and abusive sales clerks. I would like to say a word in their defense.
My job is to evaluate clerks. I have a long list of people I observe, interact with and rate according to 30 factors. They have no idea who I am. I've been doing this work for five years and have visited more than 400 "installations," from small convenience stores to large department stores.
I have demanded services to which I was not entitled and asked for "extras" the stores were under no obligation to provide. I have been deliberately antagonistic and sometimes downright nasty. I once tried to return an item that had been purchased at another store. The clerk took it and gave me a full credit. I have yet to find a sales clerk who was crude, rude or unpleasant.
When you get letters complaining about sales clerks, I would bet they are from people who have tried to return merchandise that has obviously been used or for which they have no receipt, or the customer insisted the clerk take a credit card that had expired or been maxed out. Please don't print my name or city, Ann. It is essential that my identity not be revealed. Sign me -- Mystery Shopper in the USA
Dear Mystery, It appears from your incognito research that the vast majority of sales clerks have the patience of Job. While a few may be surly and unpleasant, most people would agree with your assessment that sales clerks live by the motto "the customer is always right," even when he isn't.
Dear Ann Landers, I am a male escort working on my master's degree at a university in Washington, D.C. I take out women (usually my mother's age) and am well paid. There is no sex involved. These women simply need a decent-looking, well-dressed guy to take them to various social events at which they would feel ill at ease if not accompanied.
Very few friends know about my "moonlighting," which is the way I want it. I have met some interesting, intelligent women in my work, most of them widowed or divorced. Three of these women would like to marry me.
Marriage is out of the question. I am gay. Should I tell them? It would be easier than trying to make up reasons for my lack of interest. Yes or no, Ann? -- Mr. X in D.C.
Dear Mr. X, No. A negative response to the marriage proposals is adequate. There is no need to go into detail about your personal life. Meanwhile, don't be ashamed of your part-time job. The older women are no doubt grateful for the company. And escorting them to social events is a lot easier than cleaning office buildings at night.
Dear Ann Landers, A woman in our office ("Miss Z") has a TV on her desk that she turns on the minute she comes in. It stays on until she goes home.
The other employees and I feel this reflects poorly on our entire office, especially when someone from the outside comes in. Miss Z is very intimidating, and no one in our office dares approach her about this, plus she has the most seniority. Our boss has made it clear that he doesn't want to be bothered with such petty issues. What is your opinion on this matter? -- No Name, No State
Dear N.N.N.S., Sounds like the boss is also intimidated. Too bad. The old battle-ax wins again.
Dear Ann Landers, Having read your column for the past 40 years, I feel as if I know you as a friend. I am sending an item that appeared in the California Retired Teachers Association newsletter. The author is unknown. I hope you will think it's funny enough to share. -- David H., La Crescenta, Calif.
Dear David, I do, and I shall. Thank you. Here it is:
"Why Worry?"
There are only two things to worry about --
Either you are well, or you are sick.
If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about.
But if you are sick, there are two things to worry about --
Either you will get well, or you will die.
If you get well, then there is nothing to worry about.
But if you die, there are only two things to worry about.
Either you go to heaven or to hell.
If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about.
If you go to hell, you'll be so darn busy shaking hands with old friends,
You won't have time to worry.
Dear Ann Landers, When we retire, my husband and I plan to build a new house in the country. To date, I have bought 14 house-plan books and have concluded that most architects must be men. No woman would put the bedrooms and bathrooms at one end of the house and the laundry room at the other end, attached to the garage.
If I may speak to all the architects out there, I suggest you consider these things when you draw up your next house plan:
1. The laundry room should be next to the bathrooms and near the bedrooms so we don't have to carry 40-pound loads 100 yards to and from the laundry. Don't put it next to the garage unless the bedrooms and baths are on the second floor and there is a laundry chute.
2. A kitchen is not a highway. Nobody should have to go through the kitchen to get anywhere except the pantry or the dining room. It is very inconvenient, and also unsafe, to have to dodge foot traffic while you cook.
3. We need in-the-house storage space for paper goods, books, vacuum cleaners, brooms, fans, serving platters, folding chairs and card tables, seasonal decorations, large roasting pans, exercise equipment, winter blankets, extra pillows and so on.
4. We need more one-story house plans. Many older people who can afford large, even luxurious, homes do not want to climb stairs.
I know I can hire an architect to draw my house plans to specification, but maybe this will help other women down the line. -- Future Builder in Louisiana
Dear Louisiana, I hope all the architects and folks out there who are considering building (or buying) a home someday will clip this column. You have made some splendid suggestions that are worth heeding.
