Dear Ann Landers, You have printed several letters from nurses who said their job is difficult, back-breaking and unrewarding. While I agree this is not the easiest work in the world, I feel privileged to be a nurse because I can make a difference in the lives of people when they need it most. I am honored to be a member of this noble profession and am sure there are thousands of others like me. -- Becky in Charleston, S.C.
Dear Becky, Thank you for your touching letter. I recently received this poem from the Faxton Hospital Foundation in Utica, N.Y., which the nurses in my reading audience will find inspiring:
What Is a Nurse?
by Ann E. Coupe
A nurse is a very special person, who
Never fails to place the needs of patients first, whose
Unique gentleness and depth of love are selflessly given: a
Radiant and humane person, dedicated to caring for the sick: that
Special bridge between physician and patient so vital to recovery.
Ever loving, ever giving, a nurse is the orchid of God's flowers.
And now, dear readers, what follows is the last corsage I am pinning on the nurse's shoulder for several months to come. Here it is:
Dear Ann Landers, I am a male escort while I am working on my master's degree at a university in Washington, D.C. I take out women (usually my mother's age) and am paid well. There is no sex involved. These women simply need a decent-looking, well-dressed guy to take them to various social events at which they would feel ill at ease if not accompanied.
Very few friends know about my "moonlighting," which is the way I want it. I have met some interesting, intelligent women in my work, most of them widowed or divorced. Three of these women would like to marry me.
Marriage is out of the question. I am gay. Should I tell them? It would be easier than trying to make up reasons for my lack of interest. Yes or no, Ann? -- Mr. X in D.C.
Dear Mr. X, No. A negative response to the marriage proposals is adequate. There is no need to go into detail about your personal life. Meanwhile, don't be ashamed of your part-time job. The older women are no doubt grateful for the company. And escorting them to social events is a lot easier than cleaning office buildings at night.
Dear Ann Landers, I was invited to the wedding of a close friend last fall. Instead of giving my friend and her husband money, I commissioned a local artist to make a gift for the couple. The artist told me it would take about a month for the work to be completed. I wrote my friend a note apologizing for the delay and explained that I was having something special made for them.
It has been three months, and the work is still not finished. I spoke to the artist, but he won't give me any answers. Should I give the couple a check, apologize again and tell the artist to forget it? Please tell me what to do. -- West Orange, N.J.
Dear W.O., Write a letter to the artist giving him a two-week deadline to complete the picture or the deal is off. Send a copy of the letter to the newlyweds. If "Rembrandt" doesn't make the deadline, ask him to return your deposit. Then, buy the couple a gift.
Dear Ann Landers, I was upset by the letter from the woman who did not want a male technician to perform a breast sonogram. I am a registered nurse who happens to be a man. According to the latest statistics, less than 5 percent of the RNs in Canada are male.
Discrimination against health-care providers based on gender offends more than just the workers involved. Due to the overwhelming imbalance of women in nursing and other health professions (except physicians), most male patients have no choice but to receive care from women. Why extend to female patients the privilege denied to males -- that of selecting the gender of their caregivers?
Many women who express discomfort with male nurses and other providers are, at the same time, quite comfortable seeing male physicians. Women are doctors, lawyers, engineers, politicians, welders and autoworkers and are involved in other formerly men-only trades and professions. Nobody would suggest that a woman at GM or Ford could only work on certain types of cars. Why treat health-care providers any differently? -- R.N. in Alberta, Canada
Dear Alberta, If, as you have stated, fewer than 5 percent of the registered nurses in Canada are male, you can be sure that the patients up there have very little choice. Male patients are going to be treated by female nurses. Period. The law of supply and demand works in every area of life -- health-care services included.
Dear Ann Landers, I am sure you get many letters complaining about rude, crude and abusive sales clerks. I would like to say a word in their defense.
My job is to evaluate clerks. I have a long list of people I observe, interact with and rate according to 30 factors. They have no idea who I am. I've been doing this work for five years and have visited more than 400 "installations," from small convenience stores to large department stores.
I have demanded services to which I was not entitled and asked for "extras" the stores were under no obligation to provide. I have been deliberately antagonistic and sometimes downright nasty. I once tried to return an item that had been purchased at another store. The clerk took it and gave me a full credit. I have yet to find a sales clerk who was crude, rude or unpleasant.
When you get letters complaining about sales clerks, I would bet they are from people who have tried to return merchandise that has obviously been used or for which they have no receipt, or the customer insisted the clerk take a credit card that had expired or been maxed out. Please don't print my name or city, Ann. It is essential that my identity not be revealed. Sign me -- Mystery Shopper in the USA
Dear Mystery, It appears from your incognito research that the vast majority of sales clerks have the patience of Job. While a few may be surly and unpleasant, most people would agree with your assessment that sales clerks live by the motto "the customer is always right," even when he isn't.
