Dear Ann Landers, Several readers have written to say it was easier to get off cocaine than to give up cigarettes. I recently came across these tips written by Linda Greenhow, coordinator of the nicotine addiction program at the St. Helena Health Center in Deer Park, Calif. They may be helpful if you want to quit smoking. The information sounded good to me, and I would like to share it with you.
Staying Smoke-Free:
--Make the decision to quit.
--Set your quit date, and prepare yourself for the transition:
Become aware of your patterns of use, identifying trigger places, people and activities. Plan alternative responses.
Explore on paper your motivations for quitting. Carry a list of your top three reasons with you.
Start an exercise program to help manage stress, offset depression, combat urges and control weight.
Set up a social support system (a trusted individual who understands addiction, Nicotine Anonymous or an online support group).
Commit to "doing what it takes" to get through the short-term discomfort. Pharmaceutical support may be a consideration.
--Smoke your last cigarette, and say goodbye:
Dispose of all tobacco products and paraphernalia.
Drink lots of water to help eliminate nicotine from your system.
Take deep breaths to keep you centered.
Take action whenever an urge presents itself. Call your support people. Pray. Take a walk. Stretch. The urge WILL pass.
Envision yourself already smoke-free.
--Modify your lifestyle to support your smoke-free status:
Change your daily routines to avoid old triggers.
Develop a schedule of rewards for yourself to offset any sense of deprivation. Avoid high-risk situations, such as use of mood-altering drugs, being with smokers, being alone with tobacco present or getting too hungry, angry, lonely, tired, anxious or bored.
Develop new interests to give your life a positive focus, and re-direct your energy.
Commit time and energy to activities that reinforce and reward your new, non-smoking lifestyle. It is one of the toughest battles of all, and you deserve a pat on the back.
Dear Ann Landers, A few months ago, when I was recovering from surgery and in bed suffering post-operative pain, my sister, "Ellen," came by to see me. My husband, "Dan," who is a physician, happened to enter the room and saw Ellen take prescription drugs out of the box beside my bed and slip them into her pocket. Ellen looked up and realized he had seen her, even though I didn't notice a thing.
Dan didn't want to alarm me, so he said nothing. He waited until Ellen went home and then telephoned her. She didn't say much, except that she had a very bad headache and needed medication. Ellen didn't know Dan had counted the capsules before her visit and knew she was lying about how many she had stolen. Later that evening, she phoned to apologize to Dan, but he wasn't home, so she talked to me and confessed that she had taken my pills.
Ellen is an alcoholic and has been sober for approximately eight years. We are concerned about her health and safety. We also worry about her tendency to steal prescription drugs (as well as other things) from our home and possibly the homes of her friends. We are afraid she might start shoplifting and end up in jail.
Dan and I don't feel comfortable discussing this with Ellen's husband, and she has always been very defensive, so it isn't easy to talk to her about personal problems. Please give us some guidance. -- Worried Sick in Newport Beach, Calif.
Dear Worried in Newport, Your sister needs help. Ellen has traded one addiction for another. She is off the booze but is now hooked on pills.
It is essential that you inform her husband about this latest occurrence. His wife needs professional help, and he must see that she gets it at once.
By withholding this information, you are doing your sister a grave injustice.
Dear Ann Landers, My ex-husband and I have two young daughters. It seems that as the girls get older, their father is less interested in having a role in their lives.
Dear Ann Landers, You recently printed a column that listed tips to help people give up cigarettes. The tips came from the St. Helena Health Center in Deer Park, Calif.
I want you to know I did almost everything on the list and have finally given up smoking. The reason I wanted to quit was because of my health. I have diabetes, and both of my grandparents died of lung cancer. Since I quit, I can breathe better, and my diabetes is now under control. Thanks for providing some encouragement for those of us who needed it. -- Kimberly in Virginia
Dear Kimberly, Many readers appreciated the encouragement and wrote to say so. Here's more on the subject of smoking:
From Philadelphia: The column with tips for giving up cigarettes was good but not strong enough. Robin Stoloff, a local South Jersey health reporter, said recently, "Cigarette smoking is responsible for 419,000 deaths per year in the United States. It causes cancer, heart disease, emphysema, bronchitis, poor circulation, fatigue, smoker's cough, and smelly hair, breath and clothes. It produces wrinkles and stained yellow teeth and fingers, and reduces your sense of smell and taste. And you don't get all this for free. It actually costs you money; a pack-a-day habit is more than $800 per year, two to three packs per day can run into the thousands."
Chicago: After two packs a day for 20 years, I decided to quit. I kept my resolution to myself so my friends wouldn't be asking me about it all the time. Every time I lit a cigarette, I would put it down and turn on the water, wash, cook, whatever. I soon realized I didn't crave the smoking -- only the habit of lighting up. I put the saved money (70 cents a day) in the bank. I bought a new desk for my son's school. I bought a ticket to a ceremony honoring my anti-smoking uncle when he was named Man of the Year. During a recent rainstorm, I remembered the times I used to go out in bad weather for a cigarette. Not smoking can be the greatest freedom you will ever know.
Lauderdale by the Sea, Fla.: I quit smoking years ago. I substituted thin-stick pretzels for cigarettes. It worked like a charm, and it feels simply wonderful to be free of that curse.
Chula Vista, Calif.: Let me tell you my story about smoking. I was 62 years old and had smoked two packs a day for 40 years. I tried to quit over and over, but I failed every time. Then, I had to go to the hospital for major surgery. When I was recuperating in the intensive-care unit, a doctor stood at the end of my bed and said, "This is Mrs. Blank, the EX-smoker." I have not touched a cigarette since, and it's been 18 years. Tell the surgeons in your reading audience to take heed and give their patients this post-operative suggestion, which could be their greatest gift.
Coos Bay, Ore.: Twenty years ago, my wife and I visited our son in Utah. My wife was a heavy smoker. Our son told her, "You have always said, 'My house, my rules.' Well, you are now in MY house, and the rule is no smoking, no way, no how. If you need to smoke, you can use this empty can as an ashtray and go outside on the balcony." My wife went out on the cold, snowy balcony but returned shortly in a semi-frozen state and didn't smoke the rest of the evening. Two weeks later, we visited our other son in Nevada, and my wife got the same treatment. She ended up on their front porch with an empty soup can. She was extremely angry with both of our sons, but their toughness started her on the road to quitting. Today, she knows they did her a huge favor. She has lived smoke-free for the past 18 years.
Dear Ann Landers, What can I do, short of outright rudeness, to convince an in-law that I do not want her discarded clothes? I don't want her new clothes, either, because her taste is so different from mine. Unfortunately, nothing I say seems to make any difference.
My daughters feel the same way about this woman's clothes. We are all short, small-boned, short-waisted ash blondes. Our "benefactress" is a tall, slim brunette who looks terrific in colors none of us can wear. She is also a shopaholic with an eye for what looks best on her and has plenty of money to spend. Even when she buys something new for one of us, it is in her style, not ours, the color looks hideous and the shape is all wrong. We end up wasting a lot of time returning things.
I have tried to tell this relative tactfully that I don't want any more of her clothes, but she continues to bring over dresses, coats, blouses and so on. Some people would say this isn't anything I should complain about, but it's beginning to irritate me, and I'd appreciate your help. -- Perplexed in N.C.
Dear N.C., You have told "Miss Bountiful Gift Giver" already that you don't want any more of her clothes. If she persists in bringing them over, simply say, "These lovely things are going to Goodwill and a few other charities that I am interested in. I am sure they will be appreciated." That ought to do it.
