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Advice Topics

Is it adultery if a married man goes out once a week with a woman who is also married and whose husband works nights?

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From Ann's Archives: 1955 to 2002

Dear Ann Landers,
Is it adultery if a married man goes out once a week with a woman who is also married and whose husband works nights? My husband swears no sex is involved. According to him, adultery means sex between a married person and a single person. What is your verdict?--Little Egypt

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Comments

Reader Comment

Oh, good grief! Why do women tolerate this nonsense? This woman's husband is having a weekly date with someone else. She seems hung up on semantics--'Is this adultery?' If it isn't already adultery, it soon will be. If the actual act has not taken place, adultery can also be committed in the heart. She needs to give a clear ultimatum: 'Either this ends now, or you pack your bags and leave.'

Janice's Comment

Insecure people do not allow their spouses/partners to be friends with persons of the opposite sex. Secure people allow it. I am female, my best friend is male, and there is no sex involved and no sex desired by either of us. If this letter writer is not secure enough to allow her husband his friendship with a female, she should work on becoming secure enough. Controlling insecurity is never attractive and will never benefit her marriage. I don't think it was called for to put the word sexless within quotation marks, implying that the husband is lying. Nor was it appropriate to assume that the other husband doesn't know about his wife's friendship and would be enraged if he did. Pertaining to a reader comment, every, but every, married person has committed 'adultery in the heart', and it's insane to object to or to try to police such thoughts.

Diana's Comment

Has your husband told you that you may not join them on this weekly dinner date and enjoy some conversation, wine, and food; if he has said you canâ€™t join in whenever you want to, then thereâ€™s a problem. Why is your husband depriving you of possibly making a new friend yourself?

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Is it adultery if a married man goes out once a week with a woman who is also married and whose husband works nights?

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