Dear Ann Landers,
Will you please say something on behalf of recovering stroke victims? I had a stroke five years ago. My left side was paralyzed, my speech was unrecognizable and the prognosis was that I would leave the hospital in a wheelchair. Through sheer determination, I walked out with a cane. My manual dexterity has returned, and my voice and speech have made a major recovery. My legs are still shaky, but I can walk. People need to know that a stroke can mess up a person's emotions. One tends to laugh at the most inappropriate times and cry at the drop of a hat. Both are uncontrollable. After my recovery, I had a business making and repairing golf clubs. When I started to deal with strangers, the business went downhill. Recently, a woman at my pharmacy told me she had run into a couple who had been in my shop. They asked what was wrong with me because I sometimes laughed when nothing was funny. Most people think you are mentally incompetent if you do this. I have a Bachelor of Arts in psychology and a Master of Business Administration. I taught myself to design Web sites at the age of 70. I am far from being an idiot. Please tell them. -- Bill in Illinois

Dear Bill,
You told them in a way far better than I could have. Thank you for educating millions of people today. They never will look at a stroke victim the same way again. Bless you, Bill.

Dear Ann Landers,
I was run over by a drunk driver 21 years ago. As a result, my right arm is paralyzed, and my right leg is partially paralyzed and shorter than the left. I walk with a crutch. I am completely independent and self-sufficient, but whenever I am out in public, someone asks, "What happened to you?" Not a day goes by that some ignorant jerk doesn't confront me with that rude question. Recently, a neighbor's 7-year-old grandson imitated the way I walk in front of his friends. They thought it was hilarious. Parents should teach their children that it is cruel to make fun of a handicapped person. The able-bodied cannot comprehend the embarrassment, humiliation and struggle we must endure. Please tell your readers that we should be treated with respect, not stared at or questioned. Thank you. - Managing in Mesa, Ariz.

Dear Mesa,
Your letter should go a long way toward educating those who are insensitive to the disabled. I hope parents of young children will take special note of what you have written.

Dear Ann Landers,
I have always been a small woman with no weight problems - that is, until I had three back surgeries and an operation on my neck. Now, I'm 35 pounds overweight and can't seem to lose it. I'm not a big eater, and it is difficult to exercise because of my health problems. I was in a relationship with a great guy, and things were going well until my weight gain. Now, he says he is not attracted to me anymore. He avoids having sex, and I'm beginning to feel insecure and wonder whether he's seeing someone else. I always thought loving someone went deeper than looks and it is what's inside a person that counts. I would love him if he were fat or skinny. I don't want to lose this man and don't know what to do. Can you help? - Miserable in Houston

Dear Houston,
Your boyfriend is telling you loud and clear that his attraction to you is based primarily on your looks. It's time to move on. Meanwhile, see a nutritionist and a physical fitness professional to find out what exercise options are available to you. Do this not for any man, but for yourself. You will not only feel better, but it will do wonders for your self-esteem.

Dear Ann Landers,
The recent letters you printed concerning parents whose underage children are drinking raises a critical point that cannot be overstated: Parental involvement is crucial to raising drug-free and alcohol-free kids. The most recent national survey for the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University found that teens who drink, smoke or use pot are less likely to tell their parents where they are on weekends, less likely to have a parent at home after school and less likely to rely on parents' opinions when they make important decisions. They are also less likely to attend religious services regularly. Nearly half of 13-year-olds say their parents have never discussed the dangers of illegal drugs with them. The survey also found that teens who have tried marijuana say their friends had the most influence over their decision. Teens who have chosen not to smoke pot say their parents influenced them most. The bottom line? Parents have more clout than they think. They should use it. -- Joseph A. Califano Jr., chairman and president, the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University

Dear Joseph Califano,
Your letter places the responsibility right where it belongs: on the parents. They need to know where their kids are at all times, who they are with and what they are doing. And it doesn't hurt to set a good example. Parents who smoke, drink excessively and use bad language should not be surprised when their children do the same. As the twig is bent, so grows the tree.

Dear Ann Landers,
A few months ago, when I was recovering from surgery and in bed suffering post-operative pain, my sister, "Ellen," came by to see me. My husband, "Dan," who is a physician, happened to enter the room and saw Ellen take prescription drugs out of the box beside my bed and slip them into her pocket. Ellen looked up and realized he had seen her, even though I didn't notice a thing. Dan didn't want to alarm me, so he said nothing. He waited until Ellen went home and then telephoned her. She didn't say much, except that she had a very bad headache and needed medication. Ellen didn't know Dan had counted the capsules before her visit and knew she was lying about how many she had stolen. Later that evening, she phoned to apologize to Dan, but he wasn't home, so she talked to me and confessed that she had taken my pills. Ellen is an alcoholic and has been sober for approximately eight years. We are concerned about her health and safety. We also worry about her tendency to steal prescription drugs (as well as other things) from our home and possibly the homes of her friends. We are afraid she might start shoplifting and end up in jail. Dan and I don't feel comfortable discussing this with Ellen's husband, and she has always been very defensive, so it isn't easy to talk to her about personal problems. Please give us some guidance. -- Worried Sick in Newport Beach, Calif.

Dear Worried in Newport,
Your sister needs help. Ellen has traded one addiction for another. She is off the booze but is now hooked on pills. It is essential that you inform her husband about this latest occurrence. His wife needs professional help, and he must see that she gets it at once. By withholding this information, you are doing your sister a grave injustice.